heart of glass

you say you love me and yet i see no evidence in the flesh you come up behind me to give me a surprise kiss you've stolen my heart, my glass heart, so fragile that with one touch it could shatter. Why must i feel submissive to appease you why do i have to not be my true self to keep you holding on to me you said you loved me and never let me go i see the evidence in my eyes that i am the one who changed you told me of a life, a life that could be ours one with gumdrops and sugarcane sweetness the kind that every young girl dreams of, a life of happiness and joy, something i wish and outside me reach i feel for you on the first day i saw you you had me from hello you had me at the moment we had out first kiss you've stolen my heart, my glass heart. Dreams and tales are made from the wise to always wish for what you can't not have to hide behind when times are tough to give you a mask and tell everyone it's fine If you make the wrong choices you can build up a wall a wall that can protect you from the hard destructive fall the fall that after you fell for what seemed like the one then sends you into a downward spiral and then a crash i thought i could make your puzzle pieces fit all that seems to be is that i glued pieces together trying to make it look like it worked, another mask for you this time don't just break my heart, crush it and grind it into the dirt while you're at it too Who needs a heart truly it just ends up getting in the way sugar, spice, and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of as for me, i have a little added ingredient, vinegar. I am who i am there is no one else that is as special and unique as me you may think you know the real me but honestly who really knows themselves I'll be your princess as long as you can be my prince sweep me off my feet and carry me away from here... lies fairy tales are made to give the young girls a mask, something to ease the pain truth and lies and pain and selfish acts are the real things that exist in this world nothing is ever gained if you lost everything before you had it you stole my heart, my pretty little glass heart

well, well what have i gotten myself into ;)

hahaha.. ok i've noticed i haven't written anything in a long time... hmmm... here's the skinny. It's cold outside now.. brrrrrr.. winter is just around the corner... *shivers and the thought* Schools is well school.. lol most of you feel and know this too :P My good friend, Rose has got me officially hooked on Invader Zim, Manga, and Ludo (yes you saw it right =P) hmmm.... idk........ nothing else truely exciting in my department. just normal young adult going through college things and trying to find a happy median with school work, friends, me time, and anything else that is to be done here in college and soaking up all the good times before it all flys past me and load and behold I'm out of college in my dream career with an adoring husband and kids...wow... time has truely flyin' past and thinking of when I was younger it's crazy. any who yeah .. i'm done ranting and updating on me. hugs

Missing you

Ok I was sort of fumming and missing people when I wrote this. And Oh I was slightly bored and I haven't written anything recently. Hope you like it and enjoy :)

........

I wanna be wrapped up in your arms feel your skin against mine as I lay down to sleep.

To hear your heartbeat in my ear as I drift off for my dream world.

To see your smiling face in a crowded room only to see you and only you.

To have you in my arms knowing that we are finally together again.

Not having to cry for anything but for only joy and happiness.

For you to wipe away my tears for times that are troubling.

I long for your embrace to rock me away from my daily problems.

For you to whisper in my ear 'Everything is gonna be alright.'

To feel your lips against my skin and to kiss you back.

The way our hands fit in the other's To feel your warmth so near to my body.

For me to whisper in your ear "I love you now and forever."

getting ready for that second round

Sittin' here on my bed and making sure i have all the clothes I want/need to take with me up to CoMo for school at Mizzou and the other nesseites for the college life it's like a boxer getting pumped for their fight in the ring. Hahaha so anyway I'm getting things done here and there being covered by a mountain of clothes that are coming out of the woodwork and have no idea where they all come from and putting them here and hanging them there. So far I'm pumped for my classes I actually get to start working towards my actual degree instead of the basics i dealt with last year. Hopefully being more enthrused about the classes it will give me that extra boost to bump up that GPA of mine :D So yeah not really anything extraordinary, yet that is hehehe but yeah just livin out the rest of my R&R aka my summer break before heading back up to the studious environment. hugs and kisses to all

Time is passing to quick now

Kay WOW!! time does seem to fly by once there is only a month left of school. CRAZY. Any who I found some time to day to just soak in a nice relaxing Sunday now only if I could have gotten some of tha funnel cake that mom had in SDC hahaha just kiddin mom I got ice cream up here to help fill the empty void that will shortly be filled in the coming weeks ^_^ SO yeah Spring break with mom, bro John, Sis Em, ethan, Liza, and both grandparents from mom's side. How can a girl not and I repeat NOT get spoiled with all the love. FOOD on the other side of the rockies TOTALLY tast better haha must be the lack of air right? *sigh* but the sights were amazingly goregous makes me ask why did I have the mountains oh wait I remember the crazy weather like the dry heat in the summers hahhaha Hmmmm .... ^_^ While I was out there and i do admit I spent a little too much time with this one guy and not try all the flavors availible and at my disposile there in UT. But I had talked with this guy for like then it was like 3 months... *calculates math in head ... let's see started in Dec and it's now/ then Mar... Yep three months* But it was fun. Getting to know new people i guess is a thing I love... *can we say hobby* Dang being in college sure has changed me. I think and feel that i've grown some (not including the hips lol MOM!! we are def eatting on the South Beach and totally workin out when I get home from this hehehe) Let's see Finals are coming up in like the third week of May !!! I'm so excited I can feel the summer breeze blowing through my hair and readin a good book that i've read from soooo many times with a ute little cabana boy cooling me off with one of those fans next to the pool... hahaha I wish most of my summer is gonna be inside if not outside helping around the house when needed to help fix it up really nice ^_^ I CAN'T WAIT :D hopefully I can get one with the local humane society and volunteer or the local vet to walk the dogs or something other then just working at the bank. I need to start getting some animal experience under my belt if it's not with the states DNR or the MDC (DNR is the dept of Natural Resources and the MDC is the MO's dept of conservation). Maybe by my sophmore year and so on I'll be able to get on and get some real experience in one of my dreams for my career. There's still too many paths to choose from and this school,MIZZOU, is definatly the place to be and the time to be for me. Though there are tons of thoughts popping into this "black hole" of a mind of other places with all the pros IF I do move their, just that will they offer the same job opportunities as the MU will. *sigh* All the choices, pressures, wanting, wishings, as well as the hopes and dreams. I know I can get through this rugged path that has been set for me and you know what...? I will greet it with arms wide open as if it's been a long ago friend that I have not seen and take on the mission till it's been stamped as Mission Accomplished. Now if only the Prince Charming will rear his head and look in my direction that would be much appreciated, but then again what if he has looked my direction and I have not noticed what then shall thy Princess do but to keep lookin in all directions to meet his gaze once again to live that happy ending ThatI've seen in my dreams. *sigh* Disney seriously mind-meld us girls in the 90s... Oh well never settle for what's in front but strive for the best is always the best way to look at it ;)

Woo... I'm beat

Hey there i'm takin a hiatus on bloggin on here... I'll probably return when test like midterms are over and things start to calm back down around here in the Como. Hugs to all. Rach :D

wanna hear some of my life's work?

Alright I am in a poetic mood for this morning. So grab a comfty seat and a nice warm mug of HC. Hope you enjoy and bask in the works from me. Love, hugs, and teddy bears, Rachet ;)

Life gets jostled,

love gets burned,

hearts may heal,

yet tears may fall.

Good things shall come

to those who wait

yet to those who wait get tired of waiting?

The Knight in shining armor

seemed to have not

received my letter

he's out there wondering the lands

searching for his lover's hand

Things may come and things may go

but my love for you may it grow.

I feel I have lost myself

to the sea of shadows

yet you hold on tight with faith and courage.

For one day we will meet again

not in the realm of dreams.

In life's true form and in reality

Yet reality can be deceiving

people hold to the past

the flickering flame

what was, what is, and what's to come

hearts get wooed

hearts are wounded

then they are mended

for a new love to let in

Sitting in the corner

wishin' things to get better.

"Tis' is but a mere dream

to help me fall asleep"

Cryin' in the dream

I reach out my hand

You feel so close

like you're holding me

telling me "It'll be alright, my love."

"Hold out for one more day

For I am there to comfort you.

I know you, Rachel

you are strong.

You are my safe harbor

I am your knight"

Why must you mock me,

my poor dreams?

You're so close

yet you are no nearer

my heart is yours

though I still hold it

Love is but a dance of chance

where time may play his fiddle.

"Tis true, tis true but ye are me love.

I have loved thee for so long."

My heart may ripe at the seams

but I will heal it piece by piece

Yes, I know my heart is strong

fortified by what has passed

To those who make it into the future

you stand beside me moment by moment

help me guide me

walk beside me

show me how to deal

But to those who have fallen away

I hope we shall meet again for the proof That I am stronger from what was then

to create who I am today

Life may not be sugar and spice and everything nice

life may be a hard ball

some day you knock it out of the park

yet other days you may miss it.

On the days you miss look for the silver lining in the sky

for I will be there to hold your hand

to guide you, help you, and to show you the way

('the way of the Jedi'... I had to it was perfect hehehe)

Love, hugs, and many more days shall come my good friends.

To share of our stories,

our life's adventures,

heartaches that bother us.

For we are the future we are therefore stronger together.

I hope you enjoyed I don't have a name for this yet so maybe you can shed some light upon this dream my friends. Shall we meet again for a better tomorrow (I guess I continuing on haha .. seriously i'm done... finished finito) Hugs to all who read this.

Yay!!! for new skillz

Okay if you haven't heard by now I'm taking a guitar class that's offered from the university here (sluper happpy). So I get to learn how to play and in the process I in turn could teach other people (realee sluper happpy). As well as to learning the guitar I'm still on the quest of searching for Nirvana (knot realy butt Im sluper close)... lol... what was meant was that I'm getting some of the things that are needed for my major knocked out this semester and so far a 17 credit hour semester is ... well... equivalent to not having a life at all (xtrmlee ^set me). Any way back on the war path... *ahem (sry I had some fleghem caght in the throwt)* I mean train of thought here ;D. So yeah new skillz are like the shinz and holds you down like the G-force on a rollercoaster and your so excited and ... well... (i tink the train just about came off the trak) ... where was I? Oh yeah!! So any who if you have the oppurtunity and it's a knockin'. Don't let just keep knockin' but let it in as if it's a good old friend you haven't seen in awhile (b/c if u due that good things happpn and well... good things are a good thing)

(*** if you noticed the writing in the parenthesis and noticed how interesting a post can be with that way of spelling? Oh don't worry it was a lazy afternoon here and I was a little bored b4 my next class XD :P & O.o that pic above quess who it is...... IT's THE AUSSIE HOTTIE, KEITH URBAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just thought i'd add him in ya know for showing the guitar.... (kay u got me ... I WANTED HIS PICTURE ... *tear*lol

It's only fitting ... ya know ;)

Alright I guess I'm jumping on the bandwagon.... lol, right?

Well it's only fitting that since the nice majority of my fam

has a blog to let family membs know what's been going on,

what's new, and what's "soooo last year" or "sooo 4 seconds ago."

SO.... here's the first and I hope I've snagged you for hopefully will

be more.

Hugs and kisses 4 evr mor,

rachet